50 Completely Honest Things About Me - Part 13 of 50

50 Completely Honest Things About Me - Part 13 of 50-
I have Diabetes

This is a hard one for me to post about. 

It may not seem like a big deal... lose some weight, exercise more and take some medication, everything will be okay. 

But it's much more than that....

Yesterday is the day I realized that I did this to myself....Yesterday is the day that I saw the picture of myself at my heaviest... Yesterday is the day I realized that I was slowly killing myself.



This is me at 217 lbs- August 2010

When I tell my friends and family how much I weighed and that I was wearing a size 18 & 20 pants all of them gasp and say "no way were you that big".  Don't get me wrong, I knew that I had gained a lot of weight over the years and that my clothes just kept getting smaller, but it didn't register in the mirror, not the way this picture registered last night.  I knew I was big, it depressed me, I ate more to fill the void.  I was lazy (with a capital L), which I laughed at and shrugged off as a classic Taurus characteristic (as posted here).  I was always able to joke about it, that's my nature.  Inside I was angry and disgusted with myself, but didn't know how to change what I had done, didn't know how to get motivated.  I tried Weight Watchers, but I wasn't disciplined enough to track everything that went in my mouth. 
I knew that my risk was increased since my father and a grandfather both were Diabetic.  The increased risk didn't phase me, I'm only 32- I have many more years before I have to worry about Diabetes.  Type 2 Diabetes is something you are diagnosed with later in life, in your 50's or 60's.  Not so my friends, not so.  It all came crashing down on September 6, 2012 when I was diagnosed with diabetes.  I had an increase in thirst and urination and a reoccurring yeast infection that finally sent me to the doctor.  I was also lethargic, tired, not hungry and dropping weight even though I wasn't trying.  ALL warning signs that I should have put together but didn't. 
At my doctor appointment I weighed 201 lbs,  they tested my blood and my sugars were 380 (normal range is 80-100).  My hemoglobin A1C test (the amount of sugar attached to your cells over a 3 month period) was 8.9 (normal range is 4-6).  I remember immediately breaking down in hysterics the minute the doctor diagnosed me.  She hugged me and told me that it would be okay, but I had to make some changes.  I needed to start eating better and I needed a regular exercise routine, even just walking.

I left that appointment thinking that my life was over.  That I was just given an early death sentence.  What I realize now is that I left that appointment and was given another chance,  I had already been giving myself the early death sentence for years.

I came home and cried so more, talked to my husband and parents and friends.  No one could believe it.  I started going to my DEC's- Diabetic Education Classes, and a support group.  I started doing research online.  I met with a nutritionist and started watching my Carb intake.  And I started exercising- just walking at first.  Within 1 month I was down a pant size.  And then another pant size the next month.  My 3 month check-up in December 2012 went amazing.  My sugars were down to an average of 120 and my hemoglobin A1C was down to 5.7.  
I bought a treadmill and started running.  I signed up for my first 5K.   And I kept on pants shopping monthly!  At my 6 month check-up last week I am proud to say that my average blood sugar is 107, I have lost 40 lbs in 6 months and I am in a size 10 pant!  My doctor told me I should be proud of myself... and you know what?  I AM.  I have been working my ass off to get to this point!

This is me now at 161 lbs- February 2013

It hasn't been as horrible as I thought it would.  I follow a lower carb diet- I allow 45 carbs per meal (which is a little harder than you think when you start looking at carb counts of foods), I watch portion control, I eliminated sugar items and go with no sugar added.  But I splurge on occasion and don't feel like I had to give anything up completely.   And I run and weight train in my own living room 3-5 days a week.  Sometimes I get lazy again and I don't run for a few days and I can tell that I feel like crap and my mood is crap.   I find that running actually clears my head and I don't have as much anxiety as I used to.  My sugars are at a controlled level and I no longer have acne breakouts all over my body.  I no longer break a sweat and get winded just walking upstairs.
I feel like a million bucks!

Here's a side by side- Before & Now.  I don't say after because I have 26 lbs to go to my goal weight.  I have no doubt that I will reach that by summer and I am happy knowing that I'm doing it the right way (no fad diets, or starving myself)- good ol' fashion healthy eating & exercise!

50 Completely Honest Things About Me - Part 11 of 50

Since my camera card reader took a dump, the Vacation to Central America posts are currently on hold until I can get to the store and get a new one. However, I was in a totally bloggy mood and figured, lets visit this old project!



Part 11 of 50: I'm Part Sailor

In the verbal sense! Unfortunately, I am a swear word junky. I look at swear words as the most versatile words you can use in a sentence, they can be used as nouns, adjectives, pronouns, verbs, whatever. You can use swear words to show sadness, madness, pleasure, stress and excitement. If you use a swear word while yelling at someone- they know you are particularly upset. The same goes for any emotion you are trying to perceive, swear words just enhance.

My word of choice is unfortunately F*** (sorry, Grandma) and/or Shit. I know my grandma's word of choice is bullshit, though!

The favorite F-word only tends to flow openly when there is A.) a lot of alcohol involved or B.) a lot of stress involved. So if you don't like F-bombs bombing and you see me in one of the above mentioned situations- run like the wind!

50 Completely Honest Things About Me: Part 10 of 50

Part 10 of 50: I have a color coded closet

As stated in an earlier post I have become extremely organized and anal over the last 11 years. So much so that I do infact have my closet organized and arranged according to color. I know it's a little crazy but it's also pretty easy to select an outfit!

It's quite simple actually!

For my hanging clothes is starts with brown and mostly brown to cream & white to mostly white to black to mostly black and so on... blue, red, green, yellow, purple and pink

My folded shirts are in piles according to color. Blue, green, pink/red, browns, black, white



I know I'm sick- but I wouldn't have it any other way!

50 Completely Honest Things About Me: Part 9 of 50

Part 9 of 50: I am an only child (kind of)



I've been raised as an only child my entire life. When asked if I have any siblings my immediate reaction is "no, I'm an only child", but it's not entirely true. I am the only child to my parents- my mom and my dad together. But I do, did, have a half brother. My mom had a baby boy-Jason- when she was just out of high school, who passed away of SIDS when he was only a few months old. He would be a year older than J.

That being said, still I am an an only child. I did not have any siblings to mess with me and often sat bored and alone in my room. Being an only child was wonderful at times and crappy at times. The fact that my parents owned their own business didn't help as I often got picked on about being the "spoiled rich kid" in class. If they all knew now that rich we were not. Spoiled- yes, my mom had a tendency to spoil the crap out of me- still does to a point. But I worked my ass off as well. I started clearing tables on Deer Season at the age of 9, I made my first Bloody Mary at 10 (I was told it was fabulous by the way). It wasn't until my junior year of High School that I was allowed to take a Friday night off of work-and it was to go toilet papering for Homecoming! A time honored occurrence once a year! I did go on to become the TP Queen of the class of 1998 but that's another post.

I worked hard for a teenager and I often bought a lot with my own money. I was taught at an early age how to save as well and was able to purchase my very first vehicle with cash- my own cash.

I sometimes wish that I would have had siblings to grow up with but I also know that my parents and I are extremely close because I didn't. We're the 3 amigos, musketeers or stooges- which ever way you want to put it.

I was blessed that my wonderful husband grew up with 3 sisters that I inherited immediately. They all make me feel like I belong and I can truly say that I have sisters now- maybe late in life- but I have them. And after hearing some of the stories... I'm even more happy I was an only child growing up!

50 Completely Honest Things About Me: Part 8 of 50

Part 8 of 50: I have an Anxiety Disorder

I have always known there was something wrong with me! In college, I had a nervous breakdown one day and was actually diagnosed with depression and put on medication. The medication was terrible- of the 9 side effects possible I had 10. I quit taking my medication, on my own, and was scolded by my doctor, but I didn't care. I would rather be "depressed" than be sick from all of the side effects. Besides, deep down inside I knew I wasn't depressed. I wasn't suicidal, I didn't cry all the time, I didn't stay in bed all the time, etc. I knew there was something wrong but I also knew it wasn't depression. Little did I know that it would be another 8 years until I was finally diagnosed correctly.
I was diagnosed with GAD- Generalized Anxiety Disorder- a little more than a year ago. At first I was a little disappointed in the actual disorder name. Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Well that really sums up my problems. But it does, in a nut shell. To learn more about it click here.
I've also realized, in speaking with my doctor, that it has probably been going on since high school. There are things that come to mind now and I immediately think "of course it was anxiety". My nervous breakdown in college... anxiety. I do also have panic attacks- but not bad enough to be labeled as having panic disorder. My past panic attacks are also a definite source of some of my anxiety. Not knowing that I was having a panic attack, I would freak out and think that I was having a heart attack. And with heart problems running in my family I was sure I was going to die.
My anxiety issues definitely caused a lot of problems socially. My marriage definitely suffered. J and I talk about it now and there was a point where we both thought that it was going to end.
I was put on medication again and told that "talk therapy" would be a definite help to me. We didn't have the money to pay a therapist so that was just not an option. J, being the wonderfully supportive husband that he is, offered to be "all ears" if I wanted to use him to talk to. It has proven to be a great decision. Our relationship is unbelievable. Probably the strongest it has ever been. And I've learned to deal with my anxiety enough that I quit taking my medication 3 months ago. I know that I will always have anxiety issues, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't have irrational thoughts, but the key is being able to manage it and look at them from a different prospective. I think I've actually found my "happy medium" and I feel great!

50 Completely Honest Things About Me: Part 7 of 50

Part 7 of 50: I am extremely organized and anal about it

I have not been organized, clean or anal my entire life, however unlike some of my earlier posts I know exactly when this happened.

It was the first day of college, when I was forced to move into a shoe box... with a complete stranger...that was an absolute pig.

In high school, my mom would yell until she was blue in the face for me to pick up my room. There was usually a path from the door to my bed and from my bed to the closet. Half empty soda cans, dirty plates, clean/semi-clean/dirty clothes all rolled together, junk, junk and more junk. I'm old enough now to admit my own fault in this- but you all should also know that it's the way I was raised. Both of my parents are terrible pac-rats! It was inevitable that I would also be a "saver".

My bedroom growing up was an odd shape- but overall a decent room: 10x19 with a huge closet. And it was packed to the gills with stuff. Imagine my horror when I was informed that my dorm room- the one I had to share- was only 11x15. It was very hard for me to pack to move to college.

I kept my things as tidy and in order as I knew how, while my roommate was not so organized. There was a day I almost broke my neck tripping and sliding on her stuff! It was then and there that I decided I needed to be organized and became anal about it. I have a color coded file cabinet, all of my shoes are in a shoe organizer, my purses are in bins separated by size and need (everyday, going out, etc). I love organizer contraptions, hooks, holders, etc.

When planning an event or traveling- I have everything in order- usually in a folder. I get a lot of crap from my NSOF's (not so organized friends) but deep down inside I know they admire it!!!
My ladies pool team decided to enter an all woman's tournament in Three Lakes, WI a few years back. We actually did it 3 years in a row but being our first time, I was nervous about finding the bars, what times we played, etc. Having real estate resources for the entire state of WI I was able to photo copy plat map pages of the area we were playing in, make dots where each of the establishments was and had a sheet with address & phone numbers for each place in case we ran late for a match. It was all kept nicely in a folder and we never ran into a problem the entire weekend. But I got harassed the entire weekend as well!!!

Honestly, being organized saves me a lot of headaches and I don't mind anymore- it's who I am- and I like it.......so does J (to a point)!

50 Completely Honest Things About Me: Part 6 of 50

Part 6 of 50: I have terrible spelling and grammar

Okay, so lets face it, you've been reading for a while so I'm sure you've all noticed!

English was never one of my favorite classes but I got decent grades. However, it was more of a "in one ear out the other" class for me.

I'm not horrible at spelling, I can usually sound things out but double constants definitely give me problems. J has even said that I wrote him a note one time, had the right word down crossed it out and then misspelled it.

My biggest issue is grammar. I am terrible. I have a tendency for run-on sentences and punctuation where it doesn't need to be or no punctuation where it needs to be. I make up my own grammar using a lot of -'s or ...'s and I tend to throw in a few odd ,'s for good measure!

I'm okay with this... really I am. But I warn you if this is something that you just can not stomach- can not fathom that someone would be this bad and continue writing- then we should probably part ways now........I will miss you!

50 Completely Honest Things About Me: Part 5 of 50

Part 5 of 50: I'm a Homing Pigeon


In keeping with the bird theme, I thought this would be an appropriate post.


I am a homing pigeon. In the directional sense. This is a trait that I inherited from my dad, thankfully! I can get from home to someplace or someplace to home having only been there once in my life. I am exceptional with maps and written directions and I usually know which direction I am traveling in. I am also good at giving directions.


While I was in real estate, my Plat Book was like a Bible and I would travel nowhere without it. I actually had 3 (one in each of the vehicles and one to carry in my briefcase or have at my desk). I could walk a 40 acre parcel like I owned it simply by having the Plat Book in my hand! I will admit, now that I am in the city I sometimes feel "naked" without a Plat Book but you will find me using Google Maps often!


I recall as a child that my parents would play "get us home" games with me. Sometimes this was hard because my dad never liked to take the same road home as he took going. And he loved to take back roads...ALL of the time! In the end it's proven to be a game that obviously worked. I rarely get lost or turned around. Fortunately, I will probably never need a Garmin GPS like my poor friend Roxanne.

50 Completely Honest Things About Me: Part 4 of 50

It's hard to believe it's been almost a week since I posted. I've been having withdrawls but I'm back now!


Part 4 of 50: I’m Scared of Birds

I have no idea where this “bird anxiety” came from or when it started. I’ve never been attacked or bitten by a bird. I’ve never even seen the movie The Birds. I just don’t like them.

Growing up, a friend of mine had birds- Macaws, I believe. They were really cool to look at and they did talk but I would get really edgy when they were out of their cage and able to fly around the house.

I had a semi-pet pigeon growing up as well. My dad is a bird hunter and I grew up with German Shorthair Pointers (bird hunting dogs). Dad would purchase birds for training purposes. He let a crate full of pigeons go in the wild once and we had one come back to the house. She would not leave and we decided to call her Lolly. She would follow my dad around the yard while he was doing chores and yard work and she’d perch outside of the backdoor of the house. She stayed around for a couple of years and actually died in a tragic bird-lawn tractor accident one summer. She was dive bombing my dad’s head and trying to knock his hat off while he was mowing the lawn one summer afternoon. I believe the story is that she missed his hat and landed on the ground right in front of the mower. There was nothing my dad could do.

I even held a huge parrot while on my Senior Class Trip at Busch Gardens in Florida. There is a picture out there somewhere and I can guarantee there is not a smile on my face!

I don't mind looking at them from safely inside the house but I don't like them if I am outside. And you will never find me feeding them in the yard. In fact, J and I received a beautiful bird feeder for a wedding gift and I did hang it in the tree in our yard- but I never put feed in it!

50 Completely Honest Things about me: Part 3 of 50

Part 3 of 50: I Don't Eat Eggs

I have been told that I used to love eggs. That I would eat them for every meal if given the chance. I liked them by themselves, with hotdogs cut up in them, with cheese or ketchup- didn't matter how they were made I wanted to eat them. I'm pretty sure mom whoever told me this story is lying! I absolutely loathe eggs. Over easy, scrambled, hard boiled, deviled- it doesn't matter how you cook them- I loathe them! They smell funny when they are cooking and they have odd textures no matter how you have them done. There has only been ONE exception to my hate over the last 20+ years and that is the delicious concoction that we eat every year at my friend Jaime's (Our Crazy Life) dads lake cottage. It's some sort of egg, biscuit, sausage and cheese dream that I love. But it's all mixed and baked together, so it isn't like I am eating a pile of eggs.

Don't get me wrong- I have tried to overcome this. I am extremely limited on my selection when going out for breakfast. It's pancakes, waffles or biscuits & gravy for me. I've even commented on how yummy an omelet looks- took a taste- and immediately regretted taking that bite.

J and Parker love eggs. J will randomly make hardboiled eggs and eat them as lunch or a snack. This definitely grosses me out!

I will continue to try to fight my hatred so that someday I might actually order an omelet for breakfast, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you!

50 completely honest things about me: Part 2 of 50

Part 2 of 50: I love Mixed Martial Arts fighting

About 4 years ago J started DVRing episodes of the reality show The Ultimate Fighter. It’s a real world type show where a bunch of guys live in a house together and train for mixed martial arts fighting. The winner of the show gets a contract to fight in the UFC. I also started watching with him and was immediately hooked! We now DVR ALL episodes of UFC as well.

Let me give you a little background before I continue. The UFC was founded in 1993. Mixed Martial Arts is an extremely intense sport using many different forms of martial arts together. Boxing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Freestyle wrestling, Greco-Roman wrestling, Jiu-Jutsu, Judo, Muay Thai, Karate, Kickboxing, Kung Fu, Tae Kwon Do and more. Fighting is made up of Strikes (blows with the hands, feet, knees and elbows) or Grappling (submissions, throws, choke holds and takedowns)

There are five different classes in UFC. Lightweight (145-155 lbs); Welterweight (155-170lbs); Middleweight(170-185lbs); Light Heavyweight (185-205lbs) and Heavyweight )205-265lbs). For a title fight to win the belt each fighter must be within the weight limit for the class they are fighting in. Championship matches will consist of 5- 5 minute rounds. Non-championship fights are 3-5 minute rounds. Fights take place in a caged, octagon shaped ring.

The only authorized dress is a pair of 4-6 ounce gloves (just to protect the hands) and a pair of wrestling or kickboxing shhhorrts… sorry I just shivered. You would have to if you’ve seen some of these bodies, er, I mean shorts.

Being such a fan I do have my favorites.

My main man. My numero uno. Is George St Pierre. They call him GSP or Rush but I prefer my own personal pet name...oops I mean nickname Bulldog.


He is quick, he is tough, he can take ANYONE down, I love that he kicks A LOT...He is one BAD MUTHA…

He has 17 wins/2 losses and is the current welterweight champion. He will be fighting BJ Penn to retain his belt on January 31st. I can’t even explain how excited I am about this fight! I feel like a little kid waiting for Santa to come.
The fight is on pay per view and we will be hosting it at our house that night.



My numero uno point cinco (not my main man but definitely higher on my list than second) Is the champion of The Ultimate Fighter Season One: FOOORRREESSSTTT GRIIFFIINNNNNN (sorry, in my head it sounds like the announcer). Forrest Griffin is his name. He’s irish. He is also one BAD MUTHA.

He is 14-4 and was the previous Light Heavyweight champion but recently lost the title (in a very upsetting fight, may I add) against Rashad “Sugar” Evans.


My other favorites include Anderson Silva, Matt Hughes, Wanderlei (pronounced Vanderlei)Silva, BJ Penn and Frank Mir.
I’m a junky and I would just crumple to pieces sobbing if I could ever go to a fight!





Oh, yeah and remember NO CALLS between 8pm and 12am on January 31- if you call I may have to do a rear-naked choke hold on yo ass!

50 completely honest things about me: Part 1 of 50

I have decided to do a little get to know me project. I will post 50 completely honest, completely uncensored, completely random things about myself for you to ponder. Some of you may think I'm nucking futs, some of you may want to make arrangements at the psych ward but then again some of you might have the same thoughts in your crazy heads!

Some will have in depth explanations and theories and others my just be a sentence- depends on how the mood is striking at the time!

And so it starts.....

Part 1 of 50: I Hate Feet














Yes, it’s true, I hate feet. I don’t know when or why this dislike started, and it may actually be men’s feet that I truly despise, but for the sake of this post it is feet in general.

It could have all started in college with my Art 104 class. The class where I had to draw hands and feet for 2 weeks straight (and eventually nude models). Some of you may even remember me following you around begging to draw one of your appendages but I actually think the fear & distaste for them started long before that.

I can't grasp that fact that a person can like feet, let alone like them enough to have a fetish. I have a purse fetish...I can not fathom a foot fetish! I saw a youtube video once where a girl was biting her toenails... I almost lost my lunch.

There is an array of reasons really: they are ugly with their weird shapes & sizes and bony features, they are hairy (sometimes), stinky, and dirty. They have toenails and toenails can have fungus.

Yet even though I hate feet, I admit I love to paint my toenails, throw on a toe ring or wear flip flops in the summer and I love to have my feet rubbed by J. But I will forever cringe at the thought of actually giving a foot massage. Are you serious? Actually touch them? I don't think so. Well, maybe, if I had gloves on.