50 Completely Honest Things About Me - Part 13 of 50

50 Completely Honest Things About Me - Part 13 of 50-
I have Diabetes

This is a hard one for me to post about. 

It may not seem like a big deal... lose some weight, exercise more and take some medication, everything will be okay. 

But it's much more than that....

Yesterday is the day I realized that I did this to myself....Yesterday is the day that I saw the picture of myself at my heaviest... Yesterday is the day I realized that I was slowly killing myself.



This is me at 217 lbs- August 2010

When I tell my friends and family how much I weighed and that I was wearing a size 18 & 20 pants all of them gasp and say "no way were you that big".  Don't get me wrong, I knew that I had gained a lot of weight over the years and that my clothes just kept getting smaller, but it didn't register in the mirror, not the way this picture registered last night.  I knew I was big, it depressed me, I ate more to fill the void.  I was lazy (with a capital L), which I laughed at and shrugged off as a classic Taurus characteristic (as posted here).  I was always able to joke about it, that's my nature.  Inside I was angry and disgusted with myself, but didn't know how to change what I had done, didn't know how to get motivated.  I tried Weight Watchers, but I wasn't disciplined enough to track everything that went in my mouth. 
I knew that my risk was increased since my father and a grandfather both were Diabetic.  The increased risk didn't phase me, I'm only 32- I have many more years before I have to worry about Diabetes.  Type 2 Diabetes is something you are diagnosed with later in life, in your 50's or 60's.  Not so my friends, not so.  It all came crashing down on September 6, 2012 when I was diagnosed with diabetes.  I had an increase in thirst and urination and a reoccurring yeast infection that finally sent me to the doctor.  I was also lethargic, tired, not hungry and dropping weight even though I wasn't trying.  ALL warning signs that I should have put together but didn't. 
At my doctor appointment I weighed 201 lbs,  they tested my blood and my sugars were 380 (normal range is 80-100).  My hemoglobin A1C test (the amount of sugar attached to your cells over a 3 month period) was 8.9 (normal range is 4-6).  I remember immediately breaking down in hysterics the minute the doctor diagnosed me.  She hugged me and told me that it would be okay, but I had to make some changes.  I needed to start eating better and I needed a regular exercise routine, even just walking.

I left that appointment thinking that my life was over.  That I was just given an early death sentence.  What I realize now is that I left that appointment and was given another chance,  I had already been giving myself the early death sentence for years.

I came home and cried so more, talked to my husband and parents and friends.  No one could believe it.  I started going to my DEC's- Diabetic Education Classes, and a support group.  I started doing research online.  I met with a nutritionist and started watching my Carb intake.  And I started exercising- just walking at first.  Within 1 month I was down a pant size.  And then another pant size the next month.  My 3 month check-up in December 2012 went amazing.  My sugars were down to an average of 120 and my hemoglobin A1C was down to 5.7.  
I bought a treadmill and started running.  I signed up for my first 5K.   And I kept on pants shopping monthly!  At my 6 month check-up last week I am proud to say that my average blood sugar is 107, I have lost 40 lbs in 6 months and I am in a size 10 pant!  My doctor told me I should be proud of myself... and you know what?  I AM.  I have been working my ass off to get to this point!

This is me now at 161 lbs- February 2013

It hasn't been as horrible as I thought it would.  I follow a lower carb diet- I allow 45 carbs per meal (which is a little harder than you think when you start looking at carb counts of foods), I watch portion control, I eliminated sugar items and go with no sugar added.  But I splurge on occasion and don't feel like I had to give anything up completely.   And I run and weight train in my own living room 3-5 days a week.  Sometimes I get lazy again and I don't run for a few days and I can tell that I feel like crap and my mood is crap.   I find that running actually clears my head and I don't have as much anxiety as I used to.  My sugars are at a controlled level and I no longer have acne breakouts all over my body.  I no longer break a sweat and get winded just walking upstairs.
I feel like a million bucks!

Here's a side by side- Before & Now.  I don't say after because I have 26 lbs to go to my goal weight.  I have no doubt that I will reach that by summer and I am happy knowing that I'm doing it the right way (no fad diets, or starving myself)- good ol' fashion healthy eating & exercise!