Monday, June 29, 2009

Today is THE day

I am finally trying to obtain one of my many New Year's resolutions. TODAY IS MY QUIT DATE. I smoked my last cigarette last night before bed and woke today ready to take this next step. I showered, got ready for the day and put on my 1st patch.... THEN the anxiety kicked in and the cravings and the irrational thoughts.
This all seemed very strange to me because I rarely "crave" a cigarette in the morning. It's just habit that I smoke 2 every morning. I was 20 minutes early to work because I needed to leave the house after breakfast because I wanted a cigarette so bad. I cut a straw in half and have that in my car so that I can hold it and chew on it. I have the candy dish on my desk filled to the brim with 2 bags of reserves in my drawer. And I have 3 packs of gum ready to go.
I know the next few weeks are going to be hell but I have to just look to the bigger picture. I know I want this I just need to get over the hill. I've done it before, I can do it again. But I can feel myself on the edge ready to snap in a second. I am definitely a bitch today! But I have a lot of support behind me. I. can. get. through. this.
Wish me luck!

3 comments:

Jamie Payne said...

GOOD LUCK! Any time you need to talk to someone and complain, I'm your girl:) I'm so proud of you for doing this!!!!

Debra (a/k/a Doris, Mimi) said...

Yes! YES! Good luck! You'll feel so much better. The effort is definitely worth it, and your lungs will thank you. I have never smoked, so I can't offer advice. All I can say is I am cheering for you :)

Roxanne Schwandt said...

You know I'm proud of you. I know you can kick it. It's no easy task, let me tell you. But the rewards are more than worth it!! LOVE YOU!